Life goes on...

I am now back in San Diego. I decided to write how im feeling now because i remember wishing someone had done that before i left just to see how they felt.

I have been back for almost two weeks now. Sometimes it feels like nothing has changed and other times it feels like nothing is the same. My friends may have changed, and i deffinitly have changed but we are still as good of friends as we were before i left. I feel like i have had no rest period since i got back but maybe that is a good thing. I feel like i am always being rushed, i miss the european pace, i miss just sitting and having coffee with friends and not being hurried. I wish people would just calm down and relax.

Today i have been unpacking and putting all my things from Germany on my wall which was kind of weird. As i remembered the things i experienced there it felt like it had been a dream and i just woke up. There were some things that i would pick up and say "oh my god, this is from like the very beginning!". It was sad to see it all again, but also exciting. Its a weird feeling, it doesnt seem real. It all happened so quickly. And i know i can never live this last year over again. And when i go back it will never be the same. Its like a chapter in my life has ended but im not ready to let go, but im being forced because the new chapter in my life is hitting me like a bullet.

I have told many stories and shown some pictures and things to people, but no one seems to understand it like i do. Its not that they dont seem interested because i know they really are, its just hard to describe. Its one of those you had to be there moments that i cant explain right. I want to talk about it but then sometimes i feel like i have maybe said "thats like when i was in gemany..." and i dont want people to get annoyed. Or they will ask the question "What was the best part?" ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?!? it was a whole year how do you expect me to answer that? Another thing that is kind of annoying is when people take "the new me" the wrong way. I know i have changed but that is just life i couldnt stay how i was forever.

Today i have missed Germany the most...i miss my sister very much, and in away i feel like im falling apart with out her. We wouldnt necessarly go out together in the city alot, but we would TALK ALOT! i miss just hanging out with her. We became so close by the end and it broke my heart to have to say good bye. Her picture now hangs on my wall but it makes me cry to look at it because i would rather be with her in person. But i have to cry secretly because i dont want people to know i miss it, because then they think i dont want to be here which isnt true...i just wish i could be in two places at once.

Friends are like stars, you cant always see them but they are always there.

Tomorrow i go to Frankfurt and board a plane back to the US. I never thought this day would come, and now that its here i dont know how i feel about it. Of course i am excited to see my family and friends again...but as exciting as that is i am also leaving my family friends here. I have a home here too now and i dont want to have to be away from either of my homes. I am thankfull that i have found a life and home here and that is all that matters. It scares me to think that in one day the people who i used to see everyday wont be there. Today is my last full day here in Germany after today i will go back to a life that i havnt lived in over ten months. I dont know what to expect but i guess its better to just let it happen and not think about it too much.
I wanted to write one last blog here in Germany but now that i am i dont know what to write. There is so much going on in my head right now that i cant think straight. I would write a reflection but there it would be the most complicated reflection and no one would understand.
I guess all i can say is that this year has been great, horrible, sad, and happy, but most importantly life changing.
Today i have lots to do and it should be a very fun day, its tomorrow that i dont know if i will be able to handle. Many tears will and have already been shed. But it just shows that i had a good enough time here to be sad to be leaving. It will be hard but i know this experience has to end. But it will forever be in my heart.
Danke Schön Deutschland und alle für alles du hast zu mir gegeben. Ich nur hoffe das ich habe dir etwas auch gegeben. Ich kann die leute ich habe hier kennengelernt nicht vorgessen und ich hoffe wir bleiben in kontakt. Ich fliege morgen zuhause aber ich komme wieder zu besuchen. Ich hab euch doll lieb! vergiss mich nicht!!

Dont be sad that its ending, but be happy that it happened xD

I have less than a week in Germany. I had my Abschiedsparty(Good Bye party) yesterday which was alot of fun but i just wish it wasnt a goodbye party. This has been the most rewarding year of my life so far. I struggled alot in the begginning but managed some how to get through it. There were times when i was about to give up and just go home. And the hardest moments were the ones where i was alone wishing i could hug my parents but couldnt. I learned how to stand on my own, but also to let people help me who at first were complete strangers.
It was hard to make friends in Germany and i will admit it took 6 months for me to have a few true german friends. And just this last month have the rest started to open up to me. They always told me before i came that it would be hard to make friends in Germany, but that once you did they would be friends for life. I finally understand this, I can never forget the friends i have made here and i know it will be heartbreaking to have to say good bye. Its like once things are finally good here and i have a life here i have to leave. But i guess thats just life.
Memories have been made here that i only hope i dont forget. Even the bad memories i want to keep with me because i cant act like they didnt happen and they show me that i can handle more than i give myself credit for. However the good memories will over shadow the bad by a long shot. When i look back at the beginning of the year i remember about when i seriously considered going home...now all i can say is that i am SO glad i didnt do that, and i thank my parents for doing the hard thing and not letting me which i know must have been one of the hardest things for them to do.
I didnt think i would ever feel like i was really apart of my Host Familys family but now i feel like i am a true daughter and real sister to the members of my Family. My host sister paula is one of the best friends i have in Germany and its going to be so sad to not be living with her after a few days.
How im feeling right now is a weird feeling. Its finally starting to hit me that i will be gone soon, however i dont think it will completly sink in until i am back in the US. The friends and experiences i have had here will stay with me and i will come back to visit. However until then and forever a piece of my heart will stay here in Germany.
Vergiss mich nicht Deutschland

18 days left in Germany....CRAZY!

Well its been a long time since i have posted because i have been soooo busy so this will probaly be a really long one....so brace yourself...

First off in may i went to Stuttgart for a week and stayed with Chiara from Italy. The first day we just chilled at her house because my train was late and i so i got there later than i expected....
Then the next day we went into the city and met Maggie from USA. It was a holiday so nothing was open except for one convience store so we went there and bought black hair dye. Then we went home because it was raining....we didnt dye our hair that night. Then we went back into the city and went to a club...it was really fun and thats pretty much all i will say about that. Then the next day chiara and i went to the Ritter Sport Chocholate Factory which was AMAZING! Then we went back to her house for lunch. Afterwords i went to her tennis practice. Then we went into stuttgart to go swimming with Luca and her cousin. It was a really funny evening because there was alot of weird people at the pool but it was fun. Then we went into the city and ate...then afterwords me and Chiara just wandered the city. Then when we got back home really early in the morning we decided to dye our hair black...but we made a mess so we spent soooo much time scrubbing dye off the floor hahahah....and we wanted to go to europapark the next day but we were too tired and slept too late to catch an early enough train....but we went into the city instead and just did what ever we felt like doing. Then my last day we met with her exchange student friends from her old city and we spent the day with them which was fun.

Then the next week Chiara came here and also a friend of nicholas' came for a week. Unfortunatly Luca was in Holland...but she came back for the last day of that vacation...
The first day she was there we went to a park by nicholas' house where we always play soccer and volleyball and just chill. Then in the evening after dinner we met with them again and went to a bar. Then the next day me and chiara went around Marburg. Then in the evening we went to the river and sat and had doeners. Then we went to a Concert in Marburg which was really fun...nicholas and his friend were also there so then afterwords we found them and stayed there a little. Then I saw a few friends from my class so we talked to them too. Then the next day we stayed home and rested during the day. Then in the evening we went to a bar then walked to Funpark (club) where there was a schaumpartie which means foam partie...so it was like a normal party but with a foam machine in the middle that released TONS of foam...it was hillarious and the most fun thing in the world...
Then the next day we went to the castle and then met Cristha(hondoras) and went in a paddle boat in the river in Marburg. It was funny because it started raining and there was another group of people in a boat who we got into a war with....
Then in the evening me went to the river with nicholas and his friend. Then the next day we met them by the river agian because it was such nice weather and then luca came too so it was fun. It was a hilarious night and i dont even know where to begin to explain in.
Then the next day they left which was sad especially because then we had to go back to school.

I dont remember what else happened in May except there were alot of days off and so there fore alot of fun and parties :)
I also took the SAT which was not the most fun thing in the world but a really nice friend there who lives in Frankfurt so it made it not so bad.

Then in June i had my AFS end of stay camp which was fun, funny, but also a little sad. It was nice to see everyone again and we also had two new people so it was really fun and the weather was good so we were able to go outside unlike the last time where we didnt want to step a foot outside....

Then I had my class trip to Munich...I ABSOLUTLY LOVE MUNICH!!! Maybe not as much as Berlin but it was AMAZING! The first day we went to the youth hostel where we would be staying but it took a while to get there because it was directly on the lake...then me and my friends went to our room and got situated...then we went to a nearby city to eat because lunch wasnt included(which sucked because munich is SOOOO expensive) Then the next day we went to Munich and took a tour of the city and then were allowed to just do whatever we wanted...we also went to the Hofbrauhaus which is a really famous beer haus..and it was really cool...as you probably know Munich is famous for its beer so it was a beer filled week. Then the next day we went to the most boring museum in the world...but there was a really nice deck at the top with an amazing view of munich and it was really warm so me and my friends layed up there after the tour for most of our time and it was nice. Then we went to the Barvaria Film studios which is the biggest film studios in europe..ive never been to universal studios but imagine it would be something like that....Then we went shopping a bit and then met again in the Paulaner beer garden....the famous munich beer. The next day we went to the Allianz Arena which is a soccer arena...then we chilled back at the hostel...then in the night we went swimming in the lake which was freezing which didnt help my cold AT ALL but it was worth it. Then the next day we just went around the city until about four and then we had to take the train back...

What i have coming up: This weekend im going to Osnabruck agian for the weekend. Then the following weekend is my last weekend and i just have a bunch of things i have to do with people and so these last two weeks should be really fun but will probably go by really fast. Sofia(my other host sister who has been in the USA with AFS) comes home next wednesday so i will get to meet her and we are going to go pick her up from the airport. And for those of you who dont know...I will be in DC on the 10th of July and then in San Diego on the 12th. See you all soon!

Paris!

Two weekends ago i was in PARIS! It is an absolutly beautiful city and everyone was really upset that we were not there very long. We left friday at midnight and drove my bus to Paris. Im not sure how long it actually took but it felt like days and no one could sleep...but what do you expect with fifty exchange students. Then Satuday morning at 7am we arrived in Paris and our meeting point i guess you could call it was the Eiffel Tower...so we spent a while there taking tons of pictures
So we had the whole day to do what we wanted. In my group there was about seven of us. First we went up the Eiffel Tower which has an amazing view but the farther you go up the colder it gets and eventually we had to go down because it was too cold. The we went to Arc de Triumph which took us a while to figure out how to get to the side of the road it was on....
Then we took the "subway like train" to Notre Damm...we got a little lost but finally were able to find it. Over there we walked around a bit and saw some things near by. Then we went to where the Opera house is and went to this giant shopping house which had all this expensive stuff so we were to scared to touch let alone try anything on in case it broke.
After that we walked around and saw some other things, but everything is so spread out that we didnt manage to see everything. One funny story from the trip was when we were on the Subway. It was really full and so not everyone had something to hold on to. So when it started me and this other girl lost our balance (BUT ONLY A LITTLE) but this french ladie with a walker freaked out and pushed us. At this point she is yelling at us in French(so of course we have no idea what she is saying). But she pushed us into a little girl, who almost got her face torn off, so naturally the mother wasnt happy who is also yelling. The older ladie with a walker is really mad and keeps getting angry and pushing(i have a bruise from her walker BY THE WAY). Luckily she got off at the next stop and we didnt have to deal with her anymore. As awkward as it was it was really funny because we had no idea what she was saying.
Then in the night the Eiffel Tower was all lit up and it was absolutly AMAZING! So my group is taking all these pictures and having fun....not realizing or caring what time it was(very ungerman of us i know)...so we were a half an hour late meeting back with AFS and they were not too happy about that...but it was a great trip and i just wish we could have stayed longer!
(sorry cant figure out how to rotate the pic)

hmmm, what else can i talk about....
Well School is pretty boring.
I have lots of weekend plans coming up though so ill post about those after they happen, and hopefully i will put more pics up but im just really lazy about that so dont expect it to happen anytime soon....

ICH LIEBE DEUTSCHLAND!!!!

Ok, so first off for those of you who dont speak german my title means "I love Germany", and I trully do, not that i only have 2 and half months left i am having the time of my life and i know i will be really sad to leave.
Secondly, I recieved an email from my parents asking me to correct something from my last blog. Fuertaventura is a island on the coast of Africa(by casablanca) and is owned by Spain. Now I know everyone else was really freaking out about this correction like my parents so you can all calm down now. ahahhaha
Thirdly, I have the best host family ever, and the best host sister: Paulita! Speaking of Paula, she had her Confirmation this past sunday so we were in the church on saturday and sunday. And then also on Sunday there was a party. The weather was really nice sunday so it was nice and we could go outside.
On friday i went to a friend of mine from CZ, Adela, for her 18th birthday party. It was really fun and nice to see some of the other exchange students from our camp...Adela is really nice and im glad i have gotten to know her alot better recently.
But the biggest news coming up is.....PARIS!!! I leave friday and i am absolutly stoked!!!!!!
Today, i got a letter from AFS with information for my end of stay camp, and it made me realize that i have like NO time left which was really depressing.
what else?....
oh, yesterday while i was in sport class my cell phone got stolen. But a really good friend of mine from my class lisa(who is coming to san diego) gave me her old one so i avoided having to buy a THIRD handy.
Also on sunday Cony, from Argentina, came back from her Europatour with rotary so i saw her agian yesterday for the first time in a month. We also have no more weekends when we are both here because she leaves in June so that is really sad.
mmm...one of my best friends in my class got sent back to the ninth grade because her grade was so bad, but she was so nice and always tried to hard in class but just didnt do very well on tests. so that was sad.
Yesterday in my modern class a girl came that i hadnt met because she had been on exchange for a month..and where was she? CALIFORNIA! so we got along really well and she is really nice and has the coolest motorcycle ever.
Monday i had a math test and i was able to do alot more this time...however i dont know how much was right...tomorrow i have a physics test so we'll see how that goes.
Friday is a holiday so no school.
Thats about all that is new with me so ill go now...eventually i will get up pics

SORRY!

Ok, so according to my dad it has been almost a month since i last wrote so i guess its about time i write again...i really am sorry.

So the last time i wrote it was about a week or so till i had Osterferien(spring break). I had just visited two friends of mine, Winnie (HK) and Briana (USA)...it was really fun and nice to see them again after almost seven months. Then the next week i didnt have school tuesday so that made my week go by alot faster. Since friday was the last day of school until vacation i went to the disco thursday night...it was also really fun since there were alot of people there plus everyone was excited for vacation.

The next day friday i went to Frankfurt to meet my mom. When i got there she was looking around looking really confussed because she didnt expect so many people so i snuck up behind her and she screamed which i must admitt was very amussing. We spent the day shopping then in the evenings went to eat and drink. It was funny to drink beer with my mother but also fun. The next day we went to a market in Frankfurt and had typical beer and bratwurst for lunch. Then we headed to Marburg by train (we almost missed the train...which is a rather embarassing story so i wont go into details). Then the next following days we went around Marburg and also another really tiny town nearby. It was a really short but nice visit.

The next day i met with two other exchange stundents from my AFS camps Adela (CZ) and Alessandra (BRA). We met in Marburg and it was really good to see them again. We basically went shopping and went around Marburg.
Then the next day i met a friend from school and we just hang out and then spontaniously decided to go see a movie even though we were a half an hour late for it...what ever.

Then Saturday i left with my host family for Fuertaventura(which is an island off of Spain). It was AMAZING but more importantly warm...well until the evenings when the winds got really strong and cold. Me and Paulita(her new name) went to the beach and the pool alot..we tried really hard to get tan...seeing as i was in germany for seven and a half months i was white as a ghost so now i would just say im not AS white...however paula got a nice sunburn :)
We also saw a Flamenco performance one day which was cool to see but other than that it was just alot of relaxing and suntime.

Now im back in school and this week hasnt been too hard because the tenth graders try out some of the classes they want to take in 11 grade, but since i wont be here i cant sign up and just have alot of free periods which has been GREAT!

Tomorrow is Friday(almost weekend!!!) and i am going to Adela's 18th Birthday Party which should be really fun and crazy! Plus alot of the exchange students from our camp who we havnt seen since feburary are going so it should be really fun and nice to see them again.
Then Sunday is Paulas Conformation and Party, plus there is also something for it on Saturday but i have forgotten the name. So it should be a very eventful weekend.

Then next friday im going to PARIS with the exchange students!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!